Why didn’t they pick me? Why didn’t they like me? Was I not good enough? Should I never do this again?
We have all heard this little voice in our heads after REJECTION. As adults we encounter rejection all the time…applying for jobs, losing promotions, liking a guy or gal and they not liking you, the list goes on. Rejection starts young…not getting into a club, not selected for the team, not being part of the popular crowd, not getting asked to the dance, not being chosen as Prom King or Queen. Painful! Rejection is a part of life.
What happens to a child, teen or tween that gets rejected when auditioning for a role on a TV series or movie? Disappointment obviously, self-doubt, fear, loss of confidence and the feeling of not being “good enough.”
I always strive to remove the idea of rejection when a kid doesn’t get the role they worked so hard preparing for. I tell parents to make sure that “you didn’t get the job” does not become ‘you were rejected’ in a kid’s mind. Parents need to learn and choose their words carefully after their child comes out of the audition room knowing they didn’t get the role. The process of casting a role is complicated and many factors play into casting a character. “They wanted someone taller as the lead of the show is very tall. They decided to go with a kid much older. They now need an ethnic kid. The boy character is now a girl.” If parents understand that rejection of a child for a role, many times had nothing to do with their child’s abilities as an actor, they can convey a more positive experience to their child.
Remember, every audition should be a learning and fun experience. If your child gets a NO, you can turn that NO into a YES when talking to your child. Tell your child, “Yes you were very good and they want to see you again. It’s just this time, the show needs the character to be completely different, that’s all.”
When I take kids into a network or studio or production company with the intent of trying to sell them as “the next big star,” I talk to the kids and parents right before we go into the meeting. Once we get out of the elevator this is what I say to them. “How great and fabulous is it that you are here, just you, no one else, meeting the people that make the shows you love. How incredible is it to be here and have this opportunity…just to get the chance. Whatever happens, look how special you are to get this far, if you get the job great.”
The excitement should be in the process. Let your child know that not every person is given this special opportunity.